This is transcribed from the talking birthday card I received last month from my sister Stacey. Probably one of the best I’ve ever gotten:
“These ladies are drinking wine. They would never dream of drinking too much wine. Just the 3 gallons each. Drinking wine helps them to realize what remedial lovers all their ex boyfriends were and what a super idea it would be to text them right now and remind them of this. Then, they all listen to a Beyoncé CD and do all the dance moves in their own special way. Cheers ladies!”
Speaking of three gallons of wine…
Tonight is the premiere of One Tree Hill’s 9th and final season and I will be watching live for the first time after marathoning the first 8 seasons of the show over the holiday hiatus. This is one of The CW’s major angst-athons that I do not cover for The Voice of TV so I will get to watch without taking notes. It makes me glad I laid my Twizzlers out to go stale the other day so that I’ll have something to do with my hands while I watch.
I mean, who just sits and watches TV?
Judging from the promos, three gallons of wine may not be enough. It looks like it will be pretty intense. For me. For my husband it will be pure torture, except for the part where he will get to make his requisite “they’re fictional characters” speech and laugh at me for crying over fake drama.
Anyone want to come over to do Beyoncé dance moves with me after?
winestainedlife 
“acting up, drink in my cup…i couldn’t care less what you think… i need no permission, did I mention… don’t pay him any attention…”
I am surprised at what the cards says past “3 gallons” couldn’t hear it over my own laughter.
I dont remember hearing anything about Beyonce on the card either….lol. i wish i could come do the dance with you!