Tag Archives: Sam Winchester

10 Things I’d Like to See in the ‘Supernatural’ Season GR8 Finale

Sacrifice

The Supernatural Season 8 Finale is right around the corner. An episode entitled, “Sacrifice.” And while I have been mostly ECSTATIC about this year in SPN, I feel like there are a few things I need in order to make it right. I am in no way, under any kind of delusion that even half of my demands will be met. But, it’s always better to fill your boat with wishes instead of rocks, right? And my boat is FULL of wishes. My top ten:

Dean Shirts1.) I want to see at least one of my favorite Dean shirts. I’m sure you all know which ones I’m talking about (see right). Both of them have made several S8 appearances. The black & gold one is my old school fave, dating all the way back to Season 2. The multi-color is new and stunning. It should stay forever. No shirt, is always preferable but, these two are the best options if a shirt MUST be worn. I really don’t feel like I’m asking too much here.

2.) I do not want the gates of hell closed just yet. I know this has been the major goal since Kevin first read the tablet, and I know that maybe I did want it closed at one point. REALLY wanted it. But I’ve thought about it and I have changed my mind. This show, our boys, are tied too tightly to the demons. It was a demon who started their story, their journey, in the first place. However, I do want an acceptable reason to why the gate will not be closed at this time. And I am hoping this team of writers can give us a great reason that we’ll need to put off the gate closing for a little bit longer.

3.) I hate to say it, but Crowley must go. I’m not sure I ever thought I would want that. I love Mark Sheppard. To no end. And Crowley has been one of the most fun, scary, interesting, flexible characters Supernatural has ever seen. Still. It’s his time. Threatening to eradicate the Winchesters’ life work? To undo everything they have done? To trivialize and make meaningless, every. Single. Sacrifice? They have given up absolutely everything. Their safety. Their happiness. Their lives. EACH OTHER. Many times over. And to have it mean NOTHING?? To negate the meaning of every last injury and heart break? That would be the most devastating thing of all. Sorry, Crowley, but this has to mean goodbye. Being Supernatural and all, I am sure we will see you again someday. In the mean time, Abaddon is probably out and about looking for a job. I can think of a possible opening.

4.) I want to see Sam find a means of recovery. Or an idea of how to get better. Even if they fail the trials or decide not to Sacrificefinish them. Maybe there is a loophole Kevin missed? Sam must live and with the possibility of health. We all love big brother/caretaker Dean but he cannot make and serve soup for the rest of his life. I mean, he can, but only because he wants to. Not because he has to. Are there repercussions for starting the trials but not finishing them? Is there a way to delay without Sam suffering every moment until they are actually closed?

5.) I may be too lame and too late to ask, but I would love an explanation of how the boys have all of a sudden visited the Grand Canyon. Or, who that guy was who was standing outside of Sam & Amelia’s place in the season premiere (was it really just her long lost husband?). And why was there an Amelia in the first place? I want to be okay with the explanation we were given for Sam refusing to look for Dean, but I am not okay with  it, at all, to be honest. I just feel like we are owed a bit better explanation of these things. No one depends on completion and continuity like SPN fans do.

6.) I want to see Cas and Metatron put their plan to close Heaven into action. And I want it to be made clear that we can trust Metatron. Because I really want to. Though, with this show, you never can tell. If they do close the gates of heaven, what will that mean for Earth-living angels like Cas and Metatron? Is there any way closing the gates of heaven could mean the return or Balthazar and/or Gabriel? Also, what will happen to Naomi?  And shouldn’t closing the gates of Heaven require Dean’s involvement in the trials? They need a warrior, he is tied to Heaven.  It only makes sense.

5x22 Chuck7.) After Supernatural book references from both Charlie and Crowley this season, I am going to go ahead and demand an update/confirmation on the fate of Chuck. LOVE Chuck! NEED Chuck. Between Cas’ off handed statement of his death and the boys’ emotionless acceptance and/or dismissal of that news, I am unwilling to let go. I need a story. I need to see his face again. Endings are hard. It’s even harder when you don’t get one.

8.) I know that we will get to hear “Carry On Wayward Son” on Wednesday. And even though it means the end of another season and the beginning of another hiatus, I cannot wait to hear it. I look forward to it every year. This song is our anthem and it means so very much to all of us. But… if it’s not asking too much, would it be possible to squeeze one more classic rock jam into the episode? It’s one of the things I miss the most from the earlier seasons. This show would never be the same without Foreigner and Boston and AC/DC. I think we’ve earned at least one more of THOSE. And how perfect would “All Along the Watchtower” be for this show?

9.) I want the return of the Samulet, and I want it NOW. Jensen mentioned at a recent convention that it could come back with the right story. S8 has been chock full of throw backs and GREAT stories. I don’t see how they can’t make two minutes for this VERY IMPORTANT thing to make its re-entry into the Supernatural universe. The brothers seem to be on the same, honest, supportive, loving, page. For the first time in a long time. Wouldn’t it be a wonderful, emotional, perfect, l thing, for Sam to re-gift this symbol of love, back to his brother? Who wouldn’t love to see that beautiful thing, at home around Dean’s neck, once again.

10.) One of the things I’d love most to see would be Sam, Dean and Cas, working together. Saving People. Hunting Sacrificethings. The resurrection of Team Free Will is far over due. Especially if we are expecting Cas to be with us full time next season. No secrets. No lies. No agendas. Just three, hard working warriors, teaming up to make the world better. There are a lot of hatchets to bury, but if anyone has cemetery experience, it’s these guys.

Don’t miss my recap of the Supernatural season 8 finale, Wednesday night at TheTelevixen.com.

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Supernatural: Addressing the Award Winning Family

The other night Jules from SuperWiki asked on Twitter, “What’s your fav thing about being a Supernatural fan?”

J2 PCAs 2013She re-tweeted a bunch of answers and they were all really lovely and inspiring (and funny and pervy). It was great to read all of the reasons people love being a part of this fandom. It really is such a great group of brilliant, creative, fun (pervy) and generous people. The show and the fandom have actually changed lives. The fact that we have such an amazing show to build this kind of fanbase around is MY favorite thing about being a Supernatural fan. I love that we can come together and raise tens of thousands of dollars for charity and win People’s Choice Awards on a pretty consistent basis, even getting the PCAs to finally acknowledge us AND the guys that make our show so wonderful. We are certainly a force to be reckoned with.

Of course, nothing is perfect. There are things about this fandom I don’t care for so much. One of them is the near constant complaining that goes on about almost everything. Don’t get me wrong, complaints can be good! They breed discussion and can inspire change when change is needed (coughPCAcough). But they can also be disheartening and distracting. I decided I would address a couple of the complaints I am seeing most often these days and not only get some things off of my chest, but see if I can ease a few other worried minds out there as well.

It’s not fair that Dean gets to be in a costume for 8×11 and Sam doesn’t.

I’m not sure that he WON’T be. I think it’s unfair to complain about an episode we haven’t seen yet, based on a couple of promotional photos that the network chooses to show us. A recent TV Guide article suggested that we’d get to see them BOTH in “tight” costume so I don’t think anyone should wad their panties up just yet.

I wish Supernatural was more like it used to be, just hunting wendigos and vampires. 

I think it’s easy to become nostalgic for the “good ol’ days” when things get difficult. In life and in TV. But without the constant revolution of the mythology, the story and the brother’s relationship, we’d be stuck with a procedural. I would probably still watch it because Jared & Jensen are amazing. But there’s no way I would be as involved and there is no way that kind of thing 8 years in a row would inspire the kind of fans that are still drawn to Supernatural right now. The world has enough CSI.

I don’t even want a Season 9 if it’s going to continue like this. 

8x06 DeanI have seen this one A LOT. Listen, we’re all hurting from all of the brother fighting this season. Two things, though. One: it’s not new. They have been fighting in one way or another for a LONG TIME. In Season 1 they fought about finding John, in S2 it was about Sam’s destiny and Dean’s grief. Season 3 was Dean’s deal and disregard for his own life. It got REALLY bad in S4 with Dean’s time in hell and Sam’s special time with Ruby and continued into S5 as they dealt with the ramifications of their actions and tried to trust each other again. In Season 6 Sam had no soul for long enough to drive Dean crazy and in S7 they had to get past Sam’s inner hell and the loss of Bobby. There is no doubt that what is going on so far in Season 8 is the worst we’ve ever seen but they are dealing with all new issues concerning their year apart AS WELL AS dealing with all of the stuff from the previous 7 seasons, none of which they ever REALLY moved past. The second thing we have to remember is that we still have a lot of Season 8 left. Perhaps I am just a softhearted optimist with too much faith but I honestly believe that we will get some peace between them and I think it will be sooner rather than later. It could get worse before it gets better but I really, truly believe that it will get better. And not just in the short term like we’ve seen before. In my mind, there will be TRUE resolution of a lot of their long suffering issues. My mind is a wonderful place sometimes.

The writers must hate Sam Winchester.

8x06 SamI might be alone but I don’t really feel that the writers favor one of the brothers over the other. I am not super happy with Sam’s story line this season but I think that we still have a few things to learn about that. I am throwing that “faith” stuff around again. Faith and hope. Also, I don’t want anyone to forget the YEARS of Dean’s bitter, self loathing, going through the motions, lifestyle. Purgatory seems to have refreshed him a bit and I could not be happier. I do not see Sam ever really quitting hunting and I *think* something has to happen to convince him of that. I look forward to the Winchesters working more in sync with each other in future episodes and I have every confidence that will happen before the end of the season.

~

Listen, if I am wrong about all of this, I will be the first to admit it and you can all come throw rotten food at me. In the mean time, I think we need to exercise a little patience and try to see the season as a whole puzzle still missing pieces. I am a big believer in the SPN family and like every family, we love, we fight, we argue and we hug & make up. If we can win an award together and have it announced on national television, there isn’t much we can’t do. So, let me know. Do I have it wrong? Did I miss something? Do you have a counter argument to make? I would honestly love to hear it.

Don’t forget to watch an all new episode of Supernatural tonight at 9:00pm EST on The CW!! And after the episode you can read my recap/review at TheTelevixen.com!!

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Sibling Rivalry Pt. 2: ‘Supernatural’ – Miles to Travel Before Winchesters Sleep

8x09 2.1Another Winchester Wednesday, another batch of disgruntled fans doing the character bashing and story line displeasure dance. Always a good time.

Don’t get me wrong, Supernatural is not above criticism. No show is perfect. My issues lie with the types of things that are being condemned and cut down. Many of them are simply answers to questions we have not yet been privy to and questions themselves that have not yet been asked. I’m not sure how often I should have to beg for patience. Season 8 will be exactly 23 episodes, of which we have only seen one third. I will play again the recording I made of “just wait and see” so that I don’t have to talk myself hoarse.

This week I am listening to the familiar chorus of “Dean should stop giving Sam a hard time for taking a year off,” followed by the repeated verse of “Sam should have looked for Dean.” We all have the freaking song memorized at this point. But the lesson to be learned from the lyrics hasn’t changed. It’s completely understandable that Sam would have felt so lost and alone that running was all he could do. His mind was just freshly Satan free and cleaned up or not, that kind of trauma is bound to leave a mark. Who hasn’t wanted to hide from the world when it all came crumbling down? On the other hand, Dean has every right to be upset. They are HIS feelings. I am personally not a big fan of other people telling me how or what I should feel about any given situation. Why is it different for Dean? He’s mad, he’s hurt and he is allowed to be. Period. And, being Dean, he’s much more likely to lash out and captain a nice long guilt trip than he is to sit with folded hands and talk about his feelings. This is not new information.

Citizen FangI recently read an article breaking down every single point of the series where Sam told Dean that he wanted more than hunting, and that Dean should have let him go. For starters, if that had happened, we’d have had less than one season and would not be here arguing about it today. Is that what we want? Right. Secondly, it’s unnecessary. We all know that Sam, on several occasions, has told Dean that he wanted out at some point. What the writer forgot to address were all of the times that Sam was fully committed to the fight, even when Dean himself was not. They keep each other on this path. No one has dragged the other along, tied up in chains. Even though that might have been fun to watch.

These characters are flawed and layered, created with so much care and precision, it’s sometimes hard to remember that they aren’t real people. They feel real and their battles with the world and with each other should reflect that. The brotherly discord and its complete and rounded basis in reality has been one of my favorite parts of this season so far. Are we supposed to believe in angels and demons but not in brothers, closer than most, occasionally disagreeing about how their lives should be lived? If you were raised in a family where every member was in constant acceptance of your life and decisions,  I might be just a tiny bit jealous. The fact is, when two lives are this intertwined, there are bound to be struggles and those struggles should feel gritty and honest. If they don’t, there is no consequence, no reason to care what happens to them next. Of course they love each other. More than anything. More than themselves. I sincerely hope that’s not being disputed by anyone. But they are not always going to walk hand in hand in harmony. That would be boring and disingenuous. I have every faith that they will find their common ground again but am glad to see that it isn’t happening over night. Heavy conflicts should have equally heavy resolutions.

BittenThe mystery and secrets surrounding both Sam and Dean’s relationship and the mythology this season are intense and feel well thought out. I am an extremely impatient person at my core, but the anticipation of answers and forward moving conflict has me nearly giddy with excitement for each new episode. This year the show is deeper and more involved than who is going to hell and how to do we kill the bad guy. It has made me a more engaged viewer and has bred dozens of intelligent conversations and theory discussions. Supernatural isn’t perfect, but what’s to complain about when television builds this kind of passion?

Happy viewing, friends. And be nice to one another.

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Sibling Rivalry Pt. 1: ‘Supernatural’ – Thoughts on Winchesters in Distress

My sister has been visiting this week. She’s never watched Supernatural and I have been determined to get her hooked on it while she is here. We have been skipping around a lot, watching episodes from all of the seasons. I keep wondering if she is waiting for a big romantic story line or if she will be satisfied with the entire premise being all about the love between two brothers. I would hope that she would be. Her and I have always been very close. We have always had our differences as well. Neither one of us is happier than on the road, traveling to a new place. Together.

The Winchester brothers have always had issues, too. Starting even before season one. This week’s episode did a great job of pulling almost everything the brothers have ever fought about into one place. And we are all sitting around holding the pieces. Some of us are trying to keep score while others are doing their best to keep from falling apart.

There is something that people who are only children and people who are not close to their siblings need to know: we will say anything, ANYTHING to hurt the ones we love most, when we ourselves are hurting. Not because it’s true. Only because WE CAN. We do it to each other all the time. When we are in pain, the only thing that feels better sometimes is inflicting that same pain on the person we love, that person who gets us more than anyone else does. It’s wrong and it’s unfair but it is the way it is.

Sam and Dean are masters at it. Especially this week. They are finding every excuse to bicker and be snarky toward one another. They make faces and snide remarks in place of actual conversation. Of course, this has been going on since the beginning of season 8. And, if we want to look further, in many ways it has been going on forever. Newsflash: Sam and Dean are fundamentally different.

We know for a fact that Dean has always seen family differently. For him it is tied into his own circulatory system. He remembers losing his mother. He remembers rushing Sam from the burning fire of his nursery. He lived every day of his life trying to protect and take care of Sam. This is all that he knows. He was also raised under the tutelage of the John Winchester school of everything that isn’t human is bad. In most cases, that is true. And even though the Dean we know sees only black and white, he has seen the gray on occasion (Lenore) and the Dean of now sees gray better than ever before. John Winchester was cruel to tell Dean that he may have to kill Sam at some point. No one should have to carry that burden. But, in “Croatoan,” we learn, not for the fist time,  that Dean would never live without his brother.

Family is a different feeling for Dean. It’s the only thing that he has always clung to. The only thing that has kept him going at times. It was incredibly hard for him to accept Cas into his family and once he did, he was terribly burned by that. But he found a way to forgive. He always does. Dean holds his family to a higher standard than he does anyone else. Nothing in the world is more important to him. And even while playing golf and buying beers for buddies in season 6, he asked for Cas and tried to get Sam back. He would have traded anything to have his brother walking the earth again. He would have traded his own life. We know that, because he did it once before.

Dean has every right to be angry about Ruby. Sam got high and chose a demon over his own brother. Nothing could have devastated Dean more. Never before is Dean’s sense of family more apparent than in “Dark Side of the Moon.” Dean has been to hell, he has seen some GOD AWFUL SHIT. And still, one of his worst memories is Sam leaving him to go to college. The first thing he wants to know after getting into heaven: Where is Sam? So why is it any surprise that Dean would be upset when he learns that Sam didn’t look for him after he was zapped into Purgatory? Why is it a surprise that Dean would find family there? Not just any guy, but a guy that helped him AND Cas. A guy that saved both of their lives. Dean has never taken family lightly. Why would he with Benny?

Sam has always been different, too. and I don’t just mean in the demon blood kind of way. Sam does not remember his mother. Sam only remembers a father that was difficult at best, a tyrant at worst. Sam only remembers wanting a normal life. The exact opposite of the life he was born into. He is allowed to want that. Who wouldn’t? Sam has been dealt every wrong card in the deck and he has done the best he could with every single one. Being told at the ripe old age of 23 that something is wrong with you, cannot set well with any soul. And yet, he always did his best. To fight not just with his brother, but for his brother.

Sam made a terrible mistake with Ruby. He knows that. And he more than covered his recompense. He sacrificed himself into the pits of hell in order to save the world. And mostly, to save Dean. We all know that Sam cannot be held accountable for what happened while he was sans soul. It hurt Dean while it was happening but the real Sam never meant to do harm. He only wanted to save people and to make the world a better place. His intentions were always good.He dealt with Lucifer hallucinations time and again because he would never leave his brother out there alone.

I can only imagine what Sam went through after Dean disappeared. He must have been destroyed. Disparaged. Reduced.  I am beginning to understand why he didn’t look for him. Life has always held a different meaning for Sam. Dean has always lead the way. And when he didn’t have Dean, he had Cas or Bobby. When all of those options are gone, where do you go? Sam fled. To distances unknown. He met a girl, he found a life, he tried to live outside of everything he was born into. Just as he had always hoped to do. I don’t think that it means that he doesn’t love his brother. I don’t think that it means that he was able to live easily without him. I think that he was lost. And broken. And devastated. He did what he has always done. He tried to build a life outside of his family. Outside of the life he was destined for.

Dean has always had a problem with keeping secrets. He knows that it’s bad and he he does it anyways. Sam will always try to rebel against Dean. It’s in is very makeup to do so. We must also remember that we’re not allowed to tell someone that they cannot FEEL the way that they feel, no matter how wrong we think their feelings are. If Dean FEELS betrayed by Sam, we have to deal with that. If Sam FEELS misunderstood by Dean, we need to deal with that, too.

These favorite brothers of ours must be able to communicate. To empathize. To understand each other. Sam cannot possibly understand the horror that was Purgatory. Dean cannot possibly understand what it must have been like to be left all alone. We have to understand that they never set out with the intention of hurting each other. But, if they do not meet eye to eye, there is little hope that they will be able to do what needs to be done. They are always stronger when they work together with understanding. Can we hope that they will find the common ground in time to save the world, yet again?

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‘Supernatural’ Give (Brotherly) Peace a Chance

The Winchester brothers, that is.

Season 7 left us with an explosive (literally) cliffhanger, not knowing what would happen to either of our boys or where we would see them next. The first two episodes of Season 8 have answered some of those questions and created many more. Is Benny ACTUALLY evil? What really happened to Cas? How did Dean shave? And, you know, zillions of others, if you’re keeping track.

Sam and Dean are at odds after Dean fought his way through and out of Purgatory, while Sam settled down and did his best to lead a normal life. Those are just the basics, though. There is a lot about both stories we still don’t know. And while it’s terribly disconcerting to see these favorite brothers in conflict, I believe that it is absolutely necessary in order to tell their story.

Hear me out.

Have you ever lived with a sibling? As an adult? Worked with them? Gone to school with them? Spent nearly every single hour of every single day with them? In a small space? And then been separated for a long time? Lived different lives? Had different experiences? Can you imagine the struggle? Why are some expecting this to be easy? For this resolution to come swiftly and without merit?

I don’t necessarily believe that people change at their core. Ever. Dean still loves burgers and Baby. Sam still enjoys healthy living and making bitch-face at Dean. But a person’s ability to relate to others after certain experiences absolutely changes. Especially if those experiences are even the least bit difficult. Don’t believe me? Ask a veteran. Ask a veteran’s family.

I recently read an article about Supernatural on a well-known television site. An article that concerned me greatly. I will not name it or link to it because it’s terrible and I don’t feel that it was written by someone who is fully invested in the show. Calling any part of any fandom “rabid” is not usually the way to make friends. I will say that I do not believe that Sam’s entire battle has been fought out of guilt and I do not believe that post-Purgatory Dean (am I wrong thinking that he has never been hotter?) is anything like Soulless!Sam. Would a battle hardened war veteran be thought soulless? (Those are only TWO of my many issues with the article but, I digress). My main concern about the piece was the comment section.

So many fans are frustrated and upset. And I get that. I absolutely understand being disheartened and dismayed over Sam not looking for Dean. Over Dean befriending a vampire. Over the brothers not getting along in perfect harmony. But I don’t understand people who threaten to stop watching if the conflicts are not resolved in the next episode. I have heard fans saying that the show has never hit such a low. I have read fans condemning the entire season based only on what they have seen so far.

You guys. Come on. We are two (almost 3) episodes into the season. That means we have about 20 episodes left before curtains are called on Season 8. There is SO MUCH MORE story to tell. So many secrets to be uncovered. New characters we haven’t met. Moments we haven’t yet imagined. Because there are hundreds of things we still don’t know.

This is a fandom in love with angst. More so than any other (in my experience). I’ve had several conversations with my friends and fellow Supernatural fans over the last 2 weeks, laughing and crying about what masochists we are.  My friend Yvonne:

We are literally searching out every heart shattering moment and if we can’t find one, we create them.

Finally we have some angst that we didn’t have to invent and it has nothing to do with who goes to Hell and who doesn’t. This is the real deal y’all. The kind that makes you uncomfortable and twitchy in your seat. The kind that causes you to wring your hands with anxiety and nervous anticipation. And it’s GLORIOUS. Would we honestly be happy or satisfied if they just forgot it all, made up (“I’m sorry.” “No, I am.”) and then went skipping, arm in arm down the yellow brick road, Tra, la, la? NO WAY. And if we know that these brothers can make it through Heaven and Hell situations (which require much longer and deeper discussions), if we know that they can face down the Devil himself, why is there any doubt that they will make it through this?

The Winchesters have had differences before. Terrible ones.  With horrible consequences. But they always live to see another day. Increasingly damaged. Never unaltered. Always wiser. Always together.

I, for one, am extremely excited to watch them experience this very real turmoil and come out the other side . Better brothers. Better hunters. Better people.

I think that if the true fans stick around and wait to see what happens next, they won’t be sorry. I have real faith in Carver and his plan and I believe that we’re getting some of the juiciest story lines we’ve seen yet. If I’m wrong, trust that Sam and Dean will (together) hunt me down for the monster that I am.

AND, don’t miss my weekly recaps of Supernatural episodes on TheTelevixen.com

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Erin Does Dallas – Supernatural Style

I’ve had a busy year. I have done more events and more traveling this year than I have ever done in the past. No event though was more anticipated than the Supernatural Convention. Sandi, Jessica and I had planed on being in Nashville this last June and when that had to be moved up, we chose to go to the Dallas homecoming show instead. So, this last weekend was 15 months in the making. 15 months of planning and waiting and getting excited. The build up was so long that I worried it could never live up to what I was creating in my mind. I shouldn’t have worried. Worth every second we waited. Worth every penny we spent. I now know why so many SPN Con goers are repeat offenders.

I have done other conventions before. Large scale, multiple show cons and cons for one show only. None of them were on the level of the Supernatural experience. The cast seemed to legitimately enjoy spending time with the
fans. They were sincere and fun and more interactive than I ever could have guessed. They teased us about our questions. They understood all of the small details we put into every tumblr post. They get us. And they like us! Or, are very good at acting like they do. We were able to spend a lot of extra time with both Mark Pellegrino and Mark Sheppard on Saturday night and they were incredible. Funny, inspiring, brilliant and kind. I cannot say enough, how meaningful it was to get life advice from Mark Sheppard who is not only an incredible actor but an exceptionally insightful human being. The experience was life changing. And though he made fun of me, he didn’t seem to mind that I had indulged in bottle or two.

Karaoke on Friday night felt like a private concert. All of our favorite songs were made better by singing them out loud with our friends and cast members. Horrible singing at karaoke can cause serious headaches. Surprisingly, this was never the case here. Not everyone had the balls to get up on stage but everyone that did had the full backing of the entire audience. We were all in it together. It was difficult to keep from getting emotional while shouting the lyrics to “Carry On Wayward Son” with a room full of people who love it just as much as I do.

The panels were a great time as well. Such a fun way to learn more about our favorite actors and shows. The guys all really let their personalities shine while indulging our every whim and fancy. I would swear on a stack of bibles that I have never laughed so hard in my life. These guys are not only actors, but performers. They know how to put on a show. Not gonna lie, the hug requests nearly made me postal but I can understand the desire to ask. Everyone who appeared on Friday and Saturday was willing to personalize autographs and they were all fully interactive with us while signing. It probably should not have been such a big deal because of the financial transaction that took place behind the scenes, but it was a big deal. It felt good.

Sunday was our day with the boys. THE BOYS. It started with breakfast where their mere presence caused me to shake with excitement. I have watched these Sunday morning breakfasts on YouTube more times than I can count but there is absolutely no way to prepare for how incredible it is in person. It’s unreal how intimate it feels despite sharing it with a room full of people.

Photos were after that. Our chance to get them all to ourselves for all of 15 seconds. When I tell you that I was TERRIFIED to face Jensen, I am giving myself a lot of credit. Terrified does not even begin to encompass the fear I had going into that room. Chatting with new friends while waiting in line was a great distraction for a while. Huge thanks to Lynn and all of the ladies with her. Sandi took her photo first and was sweet enough to let the boys know how very scared I was. I thought Jessica would go next since that was how we were standing in line but, before I knew it, she was literally shoving me right at them. And then I was there. Standing face to face with two of the most gorgeous people who have ever graced the planet. They were beyond sweet. Concerned for me even. Jared rubbed my arm as Jensen informed me that my nerves were making him nervous. And then he demanded a hug. “Come here! Give me a hug!” I died. and then leaned into him as I let loose the cheesiest grin I have ever worn on my face. As I walked off, Jared rubbed my back and thanked me for being a good sport. Thanked me. What is that, even? And it must be said, as it has been said many times before, looking at Jensen from 6 inches away is like looking directly at the sun. Pure, heavenly, magic.

Their panel was better than great. They know what we like and they know how we like it. I had all these ideas going in. I was going to take a ton of pics and sneak some video, tweet the entire thing. But I could not tear my eyes off of them long enough to even pick up my camera or phone. Thank the unicorns Sandi was able to get some great shots. Without her amazing pictures, I could be convinced that the entire thing was just a dream. The autographs were our last chance to see them and they went by way too fast. Before we knew it, the whole thing, 15 months of anticipation, was over. Done. I feel like crying just saying it out loud.

During one of the panels, a cast member equated the Supernatural fandom to a secret society. This is not a show that is watched by everyone and their grandma. And for us, it is not a show we watch with anything less than our entire selves. I get that now. I wish I could hug each one of the fans that helped make the weekend so magical for me. Love you all.

To Sandi and Jess: you are my family. There are not words in any language to express how much I love y’all. I will never forget Jessica’s napkin, Sandi’s afro or late night, secret elevator rides. I would sell my soul at the crossroads if either one of you needed me to. Thank you for everything.

If any of you SPN fans get the opportunity to attend a convention, I demand that you take every advantage. Do it. Go. I swear to you that you will never be sorry that you did. I never will be.

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My Interview: Clarissa of TVOvermind.Com

My favorite writer this week is Clarissa (@clarissa373 on Twitter), managing editor for TVovermind.com and BIG Supernatural fan. Clarissa has written extensive and detailed articles about what should and/or might come next for all of our favorite Supernatural characters when season 8 begins in the fall (find those articles here) and she continues to work hard on a multitude of other projects. Despite her busy schedule, she was kind enough to take some time to answer a few questions for me about Supernatural and TV in general.

We’re all highly anticipating an 8th season of Supernatural. You’ve written your wish lists for all the main characters but what is the ONE THING you are most looking forward to seeing in S8?

The ONE THING I’m most looking forward to seeing is the Purgatory storyline, and everything that it entails. See what I did there? I made it more than ONE thing. The good thing about Supernatural is that it can occasionally revisit storylines without necessarily feeling repetitive. The Purgatory storyline give Dean an opportunity to revisit his Hell storyline which, in turn, gives him an opportunity to: (a) survive a terrible ordeal and, hopefully, find his purpose for fighting once again, and (b) gives Sam an opportunity to save his brother this time around, thereby repairing any remaining fractures in their relationship. The Purgatory storyline is an opportunity for both of the main characters to grow, even if it’s separately for a little while.

You have mentioned that you don’t think that Bobby should come back from the dead another time. Maybe I am seeing things but it looked a bit like his flask hadn’t totally burned. IF Bobby were to return, what would you like to see happen with him?

I really wish they had never killed Bobby in the first place, if only because they brought him back for what amounted to little discernible reason. I accept the fact that death is not necessarily a permanent state in Supernatural, but why kill him twice only to bring him back a third time in season 8 (assuming that happens)? It seems like emotional manipulation for the fans. That being said, if Bobby does come back, I want him to come back alive. If that means that God steps in and resurrects him – or the angels, like they did with Adam – then I’ll happily accept that as a permanent state. He gets reanimated and goes back to fighting with the boys. No more ghostliness, no popping up in Purgatory or Heaven, just straight-up living/breathing Bobby. And maybe he gets a night with Sheriff Mills, because God knows that man needs to get some after his recently hellish ordeal.

We both agree that Dean’s trip to Purgatory could be a great way for him to kind of snap back into his former, hot shit, less apathetic, hunter self. There are lots of monsters for him to fight. If ONE monster fight were to affect him more than any other, what monster would you choose?

I would like to see him fight a “monster” from his past … ideally, Azazel. But I have all sorts of rules in my head about what should/should not be in Purgatory, and I don’t think demons would be there. But keeping in line with monsters from Dean’s past, I would pick Gordon Walker. Some fans argue that the show hasn’t always had continuous characterizations of its main characters, but I’ve always felt that secondary characters have had great continuity. Gordon was one of those characters who was consistently a nuisance and/or evil from day 1. The villains in Supernatural usually fall into a few categories: you have the big bads of the season(s) who stick around for a while, you have the monsters- of-the-week who can often be compelling, you have people like Meg and Crowley who have been long-lasting, but are occasionally allies, so sometimes it’s hard to see them as true villains, and then you have people like Gordon, who was always a villain and stuck around for a while, even if he was pretending to be a good guy. Like we’ve both mentioned, Dean’s trip to Purgatory could be a kick-in-the-pants for him, and what better way to get back to his fighting spirit then facing a (literal) monster from his past? And, more particularly, a monster from his past when he *was* an ass-kicking hunter.

Supernatural has had an AMAZING Technicolor dream coat of guest stars. If you could have one of the recurring characters back for an episode, who would it be and in what capacity?

I want John Winchester to return. I think that, out of all the characters who have died on this show, he is one character that still has an unfinished story. We learned most of what we know about John through his sons and I’d like the boys to have an opportunity to see their father one last time. More importantly, I’d like John to have the opportunity to see the men that his boys have become. A lot of people give John grief for the type of father he was, but I think he did the best that he could under the most terrible of circumstances. The fact that, in the end, he was willing to endure an eternity of Hell to save his eldest son’s life tells me what kind of a father he was. I appreciate Bobby’s place as a surrogate father in the Winchester boys’ lives, but before the show ends, I’d like to see John just one more time.

The 2011-12 Television season provided a large number of amazing shows. Other than Supernatural, was there one you loved more than all of the others?

I love so many shows, including dramas like The Good Wife, which I feel consistently delivers each and every episode. And The Vampire Diaries have been firing on all cylinders this season. But if I had to pick two shows that I loved more than all of the others, I would have to say Revenge and Once Upon a Time, and I love them both for very different reasons. For me, Revenge was a return to the true primetime soap opera. Does it have ridiculous scenarios? Of course it does. But it realizes that and doesn’t take itself too seriously. I like that this soapy drama proved itself to be must-see-TV. With Once Upon a Time, I liked that it was so different from anything else on television. The show had some problems with pacing in its first season, but I liked the fact that it took chances and delivered the type of show that can be watched by both children and adults. Josh Dallas riding a horse didn’t exactly hurt the show either.

Is there currently a show in your watch list that you wish you could give up?

Gossip Girl. No one seems to like it anymore – least of all the cast themselves. But I started watching it on day 1, and I’ll be there at the end (just like I was with Passions….shut up).

Sounds like there are a lot of great pilots coming to us in the fall. Is there a pilot that you are more excited about, above all others? If so, what can you tell us about it?

I’m most excited by three pilots right now: Nashville, Arrow and The Following. Nashville feels like a grown-up version of Dallas, but without all of the soapiness. I didn’t think I would like it, because I don’t like country music, but I adored the pilot. Connie Britton, who I didn’t really know until now, is sublime as an aging country music star, and all of the other characters fit perfectly into the story. Sure, there’s going to be an element of soap opera, but it doesn’t feel cheap. Arrow is the complete opposite of Nashville….a true super hero story. I didn’t really watch Smallville, but it’s a different look and feel altogether. I love Stephen Amell in the title role (staring at his abs isn’t exactly a hardship, if you know what I mean) and the whole show is a combination of fun/complex fight scenes and a compelling- enough story. I think that with Arrow, The CW has the next Vampire Diaries on its hands….finally.

Finally, I don’t know how to describe the wonder that is The Following except to say that the pilot feels like a two hour movie in less than 60 minutes. And that’s not an insult at all. It doesn’t feel crammed or rushed, it just feels *big*. The performances are stellar, the production value is terrific, and the story will scare the hell out of you. If the American public doesn’t absolutely adore The Following I will throw my computer at my television and declare myself done with the entire television industry.

Summer TV is in full swing. Is there anything you are watching right now that you are totally in love with?

I always love watching Pretty Little Liars during the summer. The truth is, I actually prefer to take a break throughout most of the summer because I watch so much TV throughout the fall-winter season that I feel like I need a break. Between Comic-Con and watching new pilots, I keep myself busy. Although, I have to say that I’m liking Breaking Pointe a lot more than I thought I would. I find it fascinating to watch the sheer amount of work these dancers put in to become professionals. Also, while watching stuff like Cake Boss makes me feel hungry, watching Breaking Pointe is a huge deterrent for snacking at night.

Now it’s time for the hard questions!!

Favorite television character of all time:

Buffy Summers. This actually wasn’t that hard of a question (although the next one is nearly, nearly impossible). To me, there’s two ways of looking at Buffy: on the one hand, she’s a supernaturally- gifted fighter, on the other, she’s a human being. In fact, Buffy is probably one of the most human – and, therefore, flawed – character I’ve seen in a long time. If you take the series as a metaphor for life (which you very often could), then Buffy’s characterization reveals that she’s a person like the rest of us – strong, brave, needy, funny, loving, and occasionally stupid…in other words, she’s a normal person.

I don’t always agree with her choices (the whole Spike storyline comes to mind), but I respect the fact that Joss Whedon and Sarah Michelle Gellar made her as human as they could.

Dean Winchester comes in a close second. Like Buffy, he’s a tragic hero figure who is so painfully human it makes him compelling to watch. I find that characters in genre shows – the kind of characters who are put in fantastical situations that you think could never be real – are the kinds of characters that are more human than the regular humans.

Favorite Television moment of all time:

It’s impossible to choose a single moment. I love the final moments of the LOST pilot, which is still one of my favorite pilots ever (followed very closely by The Following). When Charlie asks where they are, as the culmination to all of the crazy occurrences in the pilot, it feels like a big moment. Little did we know what it would lead to. That island would spawn some incredible (and, yes, silly) moments throughout its six year run, but I keep going back to those final moments of the pilot and thinking “we’re in for a wild ride”. I love two moments in Buffy: the scene where Buffy fights Angelus and then sends him to Hell, because it’s such a great fight scene followed by utter despair, and the moment in the finale where Buffy is getting beaten down and then finally stands up against The First Evil. The line Buffy delivers (“I want you… to get out of my face”) is so utterly *Buffy* that it always resonates with me. With Supernatural, there are so many incredible, emotional moments, but if I had to pick just one, I would say the final fight scene in “Swan Song”, when Sam/Lucifer is beating on Dean, and he’s just sitting there and taking it, brokenly telling Sam that he’s not going to lose him. Then there’s that beautiful (silent) montage of the brothers’ relationship, and it breaks my heart every time.

The show you wish would have never ended:

I wish Supernatural had never ended. Oh, we got another season? Wicked. Next question. But seriously, as much as there are many shows I wish had never ended (I think Angel ended before its time, even if I wasn’t crazy about every storyline), I think there’s a natural ending to most shows and most of the shows I’ve watched have ended at a time that felt right.

If you could say one thing to all of the current TV watchers what would it be?

Please, PLEASE love The Following. Also, stop with the ‘shipper wars. Instead, concoct elaborate fantasies in your head whereby you are one-half of your favorite couple. Trust me; it will make you far happier than getting involved in ‘shipper wars.

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