|I was texting with some girlfriends earlier and we were talking about how fucking annoying autocorrect is. One was telling me she had meant to text “junk drawer” but accidentally texted “kink drawer.” I laughed and then casually deduced that we ALL have a “kink drawer.” We all laugh again and I was reminded of a story about when I first moved to Boston. |
When I had agreed to upend my life for love, I had packed everything away nice and tight and put it in storage and then traveled with 3 suitcases to Boston because when I moved here Pete had a studio attic apartment.
I got a job after a couple months and we had enough money to move into the larger apartment downstairs in the same house. Then I finally saved up the $3,000.00 to get all of my shit delivered from Denver to Boston.
The movers I hired were awful and super slow. It took forever to coordinate them and even when they showed up, they threatened to leave my sofa on the sidewalk because they couldn’t figure out how to move it. Eventually my sweetheart started helping them empty the truck so we could move on with our lives.
The movers were in the kitchen positioning a big microwave cart/cabinet and my guy came in with a box CLEARLY LABELED BEDROOM, and just dropped it on the floor of the large kitchen.
And that is when we all started hearing a buzz.
My dude and the movers are like, “What is that sound?? Where is it coming from??” They are looking at all of the appliances in the kitchen.
I have my arms literally loaded with breakable dishes and no counter space and the love of my life is like, “It’s coming from this box!”
I tried so hard to say I didn’t hear it or that it was nothing.Probably the neighbors playing music!! He was determined to discover the origin of the sound.
And that is the story of my boyfriend of only one year unboxing my vibrator and turning it off in front of 2 strangers while I unpacked dishes.
I must add to this and say that it wasn’t one of those inconspicuous vibrators that could be for backs or necks or just a tube. It looked like a dick and had the rabbit attachment and everything. A gift from a very good friend after I broke up with a terrible boyfriend a couple of years prior to the move.
Needless to say, this apparatus is no longer in my “kink drawer,” but boy did it make for a fun conversation after the movers left!!
What about y’all? What’s in your kink drawer? And OMG have you ever been so embarrassed??
Tag Archives: love
I love the way your dimples show even when you only kind of smile
I love that your dimples become giant pools of happiness when you smile for real
I love that you always buy one frozen pizza for you and one frozen pizza for me knowing that I will eventually eat them both
I love that you worry about me, even when you know that I’m in a safe place
I love the way you sing the wrong lyrics to songs I love just to irritate me
I love that you will talk sports with me even when it’s clear that I have no idea what I’m talking about
I love that you actually want to watch sports with me knowing I will ask stupid questions
I love that you do the Moxie voice every time we pass that soda in the grocery store
I love that you make things I hate doing (like going to the grocery store) so much fun
I love that when I cry over TV shows you hug me and comfort me before you tease me about it
I love that you really love my friends and my family and I love that they really love you
I love that you get excited about my cooking even though it’s mediocre at best
I love that you do the nerd glasses gesture every time I talk about Harry Potter
I love that you are still surprised when I run into things or knock things over
I love that even in your sleep you seem intent on messing up a freshly made bed
Mostly I love that you love me not just despite my myriad of faults but because of them. Everyone should be so lucky.
*My friend Chelsea recently posted a love letter to her own husband and I was inspired. I try to talk mine up as much as I can but I am not sure anyone actually understands how amazing he really is. So, I totally copied Chels and did my own version. Be sure to check out her amazing blog.