I know, I know! I haven’t done a snarky, thought by the minute, bullet point filled TVD recap in FOREVER. I hope y’all will forgive me. And I hope you have been reading my thoughts on the show over at TheTelevixen.com.
This episode takes us to a brand new place so I couldn’t resist putting in my two cents. Are you ready?
- Have I told you guys how much I don’t love this new intro system? It’s so cheesy that it makes me want to dip it in ranch. What happened to “Previously on?” Who killed that guy? Can we un-dagger that?
- Is Shane chasing a hoodie wearing Native American or did someone slip me the brown acid?
- Team Rebekah. AmIright?
- Yeah Bonnie like you aren’t seriously enjoying your man meat photoshoot.
- Tyler is an awesome choice for Klaus babysitting. And right up until the tasteless mom jokes, Ty was owning.
- Did I used to hate Rebekah? I sucked. She is golden.
- There are knives flying out from the night. This place seems not safe.
- Shane’s headlamp is so dope. I wonder if he got it at Brookstone?
- UNICORNS AND RAINBOWS. Damon knows. He knows what the cure brings.
- Caroline Forbes how I have missed you. Please never leave me again. Ever.
- Klaus. Never stop being you. UNLESS IT MEANS HURTING CAROLINE. WHAT HAVE I SAID ABOU THAT A MILLION TIMES? Way to get on my bad side, buddy.
- I want to stop thinking that Stefan and Rebekah are so darling but I JUST CAN’T. They are precious. And they have so much in common. And why won’t they just make out some more? I know they want to.
- Shane is a dick but kind of an evil genius dick.
- Wow. Tyler. Wow. Consider me moved.
- Did the hoodie guy take Jeremy?
- Remember when Bonnie was a fake psychic seeing fortunes in beer bottles? She’s come a long way, baby.
- Um… yeah. So I am Team Rebekah FOREVER. How does she keep getting more awesome? Is there an app for that?
- “I hope that the cure actually cures Elena of her shitty personality.” My friends are the best.
- Klaus isn’t gonna let Caroline die. COME ON. That is not happening. No way. Nope.
- Damon is my favorite when he is being Damon and I wish Elena would just LET him. Because it’s fun.
- Is Damon really trying to sabotage himself? Does he hate himself that much or does he really not want be human? He’s kind of complicated. My brain hurts.
- Okay. Actually bawling over this conversation between Klaus and Caroline because they are just so lovely. And impossible. And I KNEW HE WOULD NEVER LET ANYTHING HAPPEN TO HER. *sob*
- 10 points for honesty, Stefan. For the first time ever. Love you.
- HEY!! Elena is being awesome! Though, the 3 of them together has to be pretty awkward. Do you think Elena & Rebekah might have time to compare notes?
- More witches? I am confused. Which are the good witches and which are the bad ones?
- I thought there could only be one hunter? I might be in need of a rewatch. Oops.
Next week we will spend a bit more time on worst island vacation ever (seriously do not use the Mystic Falls travel agent) and we’ll learn more about Jeremy’s bracelet buddy. Will Damon come to the rescue once again? Will the truce between Elena, Rebekah & Stefan hold out? Will Caroline let Klaus get some for saving her life? Check out the promo below and leave me lots of comments!