Another Personal One Tree Hill Post: Daddy Issues

****This post contains spoilers for One Tree Hill 9×11********

I know. Here we go again. This show just makes me feel SO MANY FEELINGS!!

I have shared with you all stories about how Nathan and Haley’s first kiss song also changed my life. I have told some of you that my wedding band looks exactly like Haley’s. I have expressed how much it hurt to watch Haley lose her mom as I too lost my own mother when we were both far too young.

In tonight’s OTH Nathan Scott lost his dad. A father who totally sucked for most of Nathan’s life. The dude was abusive and harsh and horrible. He even killed his own brother. It was very hard to love Dan Scott. In the end though, Dan saved Nathan’s life and he was forgiven and his family got to be with him as he died. It was really beautiful. And totally believable (which in the One Tree Hill world is hard to come by).

I have my own daddy issues. The guy is a real jerk. He totally changed after my mother passed away 1o years ago and now we haven’t spoken in more than 5 years. He isn’t a part of my life or the life of my two sisters. He wasn’t at my wedding and he has never seen my niece, his only grand-baby.

What really got to me about tonight’s episode was the thought of never getting that closure. What if my dad dies and I don’t even know? What if we never get that goodbye? That forgiveness? That last I love you? The man never killed anyone but he has been pretty awful to me and to my family over the years.

So what if? What if we never get those last moments? My heart breaks at the thought.

But I am so very happy for Nathan. If only real life could work like TV, right?

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5 Comments

Filed under Family, Television

5 responses to “Another Personal One Tree Hill Post: Daddy Issues

  1. I also had daddy issues. I stopped talking with my father when I was 16, I am now 33. I just found out last month that he died last April. His girlfriend never called me, nobody told me. I found out by my mom that happened to read his obit. I never got to reconcile with him or even forgive him for the way he treated me. So if you really do want to have that last talk or final goodbye you should do it now. Life is never permanent, we can go any minute.

  2. So you know my basic story, so here is my response to you. My dad got to say his piece. He left notes. So many notes. Oh honey, he was ridiculous. One day I’ll share all that. But the point is, he got to say what he needed to say and I didn’t. 16 years later I am, for lack of a better word, over his death. I mean, not OVER, obviously, but it has been a part of my life for so long it just is how it is. But I am always a little mad because he was so selfish and didn’t let me say what I needed to say. I don’t even mean ask him not to do it – he was pretty determined. But just say what I wanted. Say why I was mad, what I’d miss, anything. So say what you need to say to your dad. Even if you just write him a letter (people still use pen and paper and stamps, right?). Tell him what you need to say. Tell him how he hurt you. Tell him how about happy your husband makes you. Tell him whatever comes to mind. But tell him. And tell him you aren’t looking for a response. For Nathan/Dan it wasn’t about hearing anything from the other person – it was about being able to say what they needed. It’s a selfish thing in a lot of ways. If something happened to your dad, it wouldn’t be about what he didn’t say, it would be about what YOU didn’t say. So say it. And then whatever happens – you never speak again or you find your way back to each other – you have some peace.

  3. Cill Davis @cilldavis

    Reading this broke my heart! I can relate, but my issues are with my mom. As you know, my dad died when I was 11 months old and my brother was almost 3. So my mom has had to raise the two of us on her own. I respect her for what she’s done for us, I really do. But now she’s trying to make my brother and I stay at home and help pay bills instead of going away to college. She claimed that me deciding to go away for FSU, which is five hours away and in a different state than my hometown, was me running away from my family and my, I mean my mom’s problems. I shouldn’t have to pay for her mistakes, you know? She made my life a living hell the last six months I was home and again over spring break. I don’t even have my own room at home anymore. I sleep on the couch. She caused me to physically and emotionally break down and she didn’t even care. It’s sad that I’m 19 and I want almost nothing to do with her now. She makes me feel like I’m a burden for her. That I’ll never be good enough to make her happy. Major Brooke Davis moment right there. I consider my friends my family these days. I have for a while now. Now that it’s just my brother living with my mom, he understands how I feel. I love my freedom of being so far away from home and the drama. I maybe talk to my mom once a week. I try to have a fuck it attitude, but she still has a way of getting to me. She’s a reason why I get depressed. She also doesn’t understand the way I deal with my dad’s death. She says that I could never miss someone I never knew. She’s wrong. It’s a totally different type of loss. You can’t understand it unless you experience it for yourself. Our relationship hasn’t always been like this. It’s just gotten worse as I’ve gotten older. She doesn’t understand me and she’s never really tried to. I may not be able to come back to FSU for reasons in the fall. If I do go back to Savannah, I’ll work to pay for my own apartment. There’s no way that I can live with her again. I need space from her. Family is supposed to be supportive. Not bring you down. I don’t think that I could cut her out of my life completely, but of things don’t change soon, that may be my only option. She texts and calls me now saying that she misses me so much it hurts. But that doesn’t make up for how she’s treated me or how she’s made me feel. I’d really like to punch her in the face sometimes for what she’s done to.me and how I now see myself. My advice for you is to try to find some sense of closure with your dad. Tell him about your life and how you really feel about him even if you can only do so on pen and paper. You don’t want to have any regrets, you know? Things that you wish that you could have said or done but didn’t. You owe it to yourself. Also, know that you always have people to talk to about this. 🙂

  4. Cill Davis @cilldavis

    One more thing. I’ve been away at college for almost three months now. And I haven’t missed my mom at all. Is that bad? I miss my cat and my best friend and my brother at times, but I don’t miss my mom. I don’t feel bad about that, either. It just proves how much I needed this. How glad I am for taking the opportunity to go away to school. Branch out and be on my own. I am putting myself through college and I’m my own responsibility. I love it. I hope sharing my story helps. I understand your reasons for distancing yourself from your dad, but you owe it to yourself to reach some sort of closure before it’s too late.

  5. I can’t even tell you how much I can relate to this. It’s been betrayal after betrayal from my dad (and some of his family too) since before I graduated grade 8, a little bit even way before that. I barely talk to him, if at all now. After that episode, and my grandfather (my mom’s dad) recently passing away, I’ve been thinking about it too. But honestly, I can’t even come up with the…strength? courage? I don’t know…to talk to him the way I probably should. If he tries to talk to me, I keep it as civil and short as possible cause I still overthink everything and just get mad about everything. Maybe I just don’t want to rip him a new one so I’m being the nice one in not talking? lol, I have no idea. But if you figure it out at some point, let me know lol.

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