What’s In a Name?

I got married nearly 16 months ago.

I still haven’t sent my Thank You cards.

I haven’t printed all of my wedding photos.

I haven’t made an album.

I haven’t sent my dress off to be cleaned and preserved (and OMG does it need to be cleaned).

I haven’t spent my wedding gift cards.

I haven’t changed my name.

Most of those “haven’t” things are because I am lazy and terrible at projects that seem HUGE even when they are really quite simple. I might have adult ADD. Or something. Probably.

Where was I?

Right. That.

Name change.

The one “haven’t” that might be some what deliberate.

Before you ask, no, I’m not some kind of feminist or anything. I’m not opposed to the the idea of a woman taking her husband’s name (mostly. It seems a bit antiquated now that woman are no longer “property” but whatever). And I am not opposed to my husband’s last name either! At all!! It actually goes quite nicely with my first name. No horrible rhyming situation or anything. (Who would ever want to be Julia Gulia?)  Also to be noted: I don’t have any kind of affinity for my father, the man who gave me the name I chance losing as the oldest of three girls. The guy is a total jack hole. So it’s not that.

But my name is my name. I suppose if people had always called me Erin I wouldn’t be so attached. But people have been using my last name as my first name for as long as I can remember. As if I was born into the military. Because “Erin” is apparently so f**king hard to use. Or at least, way less fun. Most recently, my bestest friends have used my last name to create the best nicknames ever spoken. And I know in my heart that changing my name won’t stop people from calling me “Frazzle McDazzle” but still…

But still. I’m dragging my feet on this one. Even the thought of the DMV and Social Security waiting rooms gives me the skeeves.

I suppose when children become involved I might rush it. I don’t want my kid to have that weird mom with a different last name even when their parents are married. It’s just confusing.

Changing my name or leaving it the same won’t make me any less his or make him any less mine.

Until children, what’s the point?

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9 Comments

Filed under Marriage

9 responses to “What’s In a Name?

  1. Jen

    I didn’t have any desire to do it until children were involved. I mean, go for it, but I found I was Jen J in all the informal ways anyway. Pretty sure you put Mrs. Jennifer Johnson on your wedding invite. The only place I was Jen S was at work and on my taxes. Society pretty much took my maiden name long before I made the trip to the DMV 3 years later and 9 months pregnant. No regrets how I did it though.

    It really is kind of irrelevant these days. Just be prepared for the stares when you’re trying to get it done when you’re ready to pop!

    And if you must know, you are “married” in the eyes of my iPhone contacts 😉

  2. South Boston Squirrel Trainer

    hahahaha i’m totally picturing you at 8 months pregnant in line at the sweaty DMV thinking “why the hell didn’t i take care of this sooner?!”

  3. Wicks

    of all people, i totally feel your pain on this one. I’ve decided that the smarter plan would have been to LEGALLY change my first name to Wicker! Seriously! I too heart my first name … i mean last name and I’ve instructed EVERYONE to not get all weird on me and call me anything but what they always did. “Glea” is not going to fly – sorry! (It’s really pretty easy to change to – one day and your done) It’s really whatever you’re comfortable with. You’ll always be Frazzle to me, regardless of legalities! 🙂

    • Jen

      Ya know, I thought about that the other day. You came up in convo with Stace and Bird and I was like, “Wicker..errr… Gleason? Amanda?” It was quite the awkward moment! I’m glad you will always be Wicker!

      Mass must be different. In CO it’s two magical days. First day goes to SS, the next one belongs to the DMV.

    • Jen

      Oh, and because you’re dying to know, it was the night of the Broncos game and we were discussing how awesome you were to wear your Bruins gear instead of Pats crap.

  4. onlymystory

    First, I love your 2nd to the last sentence. I’ve always loved the idea that someday, someone will simply be mine. No names or labels needed. Anyway, tangent over.
    I think if it’s not something that matters to your husband (and then of course there still involves a whole discussion of motivations) and you like your maiden name, keep it. Like on an official level. If you have friends or will meet people that you prefer to know you as married, just let him introduce you as his wife. Most people will assume you’re Mrs. ___ and unless you correct them, will keep it that way.
    And then there’s the fact that some names you never outgrow. The day my mom was born, her grandpa said looks like we’ve got a little sputnik (the satellite had flown over a few weeks before) and it got shortened to Spuddy. To this day, if you ask any of my mom’s high school friends or family about Marie (using her maiden or married name) they have no clue who you’re talking about. It’s Spuddy or nothing. My grandma & great-aunt (Big’Un & Grassie) were the same.
    Which is kind of a long comment to say that I think we decide what names we go by. And if that means different names with different friends, cool.

  5. onlymystory

    Damn it. I also meant to add that if you do change your name because that would make your husband happy (and not out of any sort of chauvinistic attitude which seems very unlikely in your case), you can still go by your maiden name in certain circles if you want.

  6. Tiffy

    You havent used your wedding gift cards yet? crazy. 🙂

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